I Just Need A Break From This Pain

  I’m feeling really fed up today, feeling crap all the time has got me so down. Heads pounding, body’s hurting, skins itchy and on fire and my piles are killing me, I’d lol but it’s really not funny. I had the second blood results from the GP the other day and the Liver function level has gone down further and so has my kidney function. He was going to call the hospital to rush through an appointment, I’m still waiting. To top it all off, I have a Costochondritis flare so can’t even get comfortable in bed, that and the fact that I look like an Umpa Lumpa having a whitey hahaha.

I suppose every now and then, those of us have to have a bit of a moan day and I think mine must be today. It’s one of those days that everything winds you up or gets you down. You feel as though you want to scream at the top of your lungs for the world to just F…off but you haven’t got the strength. You look upwards to the supposedly man upstairs and plead with him to just give you a break, but what’s the point, he’s not listening anyway. I just need a break, a break from the pain, to wake up one morning and feel on top of the world like I use to, a long long time ago that is. To be able to do things around the house without it taking you days to recover from, or to just not have something new wrong with you for at least six months. That…Or I just need a chuffin holiday, somewhere warm where I can relax by the pool instead of being in bed. To have someone to tidy your room every day and to have all the food and refreshements you need brought to you with a smile…hahaha yeah OK

Even my comping, I haven’t won anything substantial, since the middle of December I’ve won an ecig battery and a passport holder lol. Since the middle of January I have entered competitions on one competition site alone to the value of £463,763.00 and won prizes totalling around £40 I mean, come on…it gets very disheartening when you see the same names over and over again as the winners, winning really big prizes as well. Don’t get me wrong, I do not begrudge anyone winning, I would just like my fair share for all the effort that I put in. Some days, when I’m well enough, I comp every waking moment, I weed out the ones I want to enter. I’m not like some who enter anything and everything, I only enter things that I would really like, need or my family could use. It boils my blood when I see some of these winners, then selling everything they win, now I know we could all use a but of extra cash these days but you have won a prize you didn’t want in the first place, so why enter ? Why take that prize away from someone who really wanted or needed it ? 
Now some may say I’m a sore looser or its all down to being randomly chosen, but that not the case, I would really like to know what they do that is different to what I do, why are they chosen again and again, why are they luckier than me ? These are all questions that have made me question, is it worth it, is it worth all the time and effort that I put it, sometimes making myself I’ll, to win nothing, is it really worth it ? I have been comping now for a year and I can honestly say I’ve probably won around £500 worth of prizes, my biggest being a wooden toy kitchen for my granddaughter for Christmas. You have no idea how amazing it felt to win something that really helped me out for Christmas but something my granddaughter really wanted but that I could not afford. 

I entered hundreds and hundreds of Christmas comps, I won one, Valentine’s Day 0 Mothers Day 0 Easter comps, hundreds and hundreds a day, nothing…So if you’ve just won a hamper full of Easter eggs, why continue to enter them to win another one, why not let someone else have the chance to win. I saw one woman win 3 yes 3 massive bundles of Easter eggs…Why ? I have 5 grandchildren and one of those hampers would have been enough for them. 

Anyway, enough of that, I told you all I just wanted to have a moan day, so there it is lol So I look upward again and say “Come on big guy, give me a break” 


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